staying home and contemplating…

I woke up at half past ten this morning, and it took me about five minutes to actually realize how late it was. The day then continued to be a lazy day. I did not go out of the apartment at all, and was only out of the bed to take a nice long bath and to have breakfast/lunch/dinner which was basically one meal.

I had three things (three?) on my to do list for the day: 1. finish writing the Sunday School curriculum, 2. prepare the prayers for Monday morning worship… and 3. umm, come to a decision of whether or not I would like to and can stay for another four months here in Geneva (provided the cantonal officers decide to be gracious). This third point is ridiculous, in fact, because I know the resounding answer is yes. What I was thinking about, however, and what took most of my time, was thinking and rethinking all the possible scenarios of things I’d like to do, I’d have to do and I’d likely be doing.

Having spent hours on this subject, with the documents for the Sunday School curriculum open, I decided it’s high time to start working on it, so I tried… but it’s been quite a while and I just blanked out and got REALLY frustrated. I say really frustrated cause it got my thoughts spinning like crazy going all the way to “but what if the world ends in December 2012?” Don’t ask how that happened cause I have no clue!

Anyway, here’s the thing. I have drifted away quite far from my theology/ministry background, gotten unused to reading, reflecting, contemplating, writing, connecting, delivering. I have also somehow managed to slipped away from the emotional balance I had regained when I first came to Switzerland. I can elaborate more on why now cause I’ve contemplated this as well, but it might merit a separate post. Needless to say, the last few days I’ve been an emotional mess… but at this point right now, I’m ready to say that I’m okay… and I’m ready to re-start in order to move forward.

Quite randomly I found this song on a friend’s blog that I haven’t visited in a long, long while, and while it might not be directly related, I do feel like this song is speaking to me in a way, almost like it’s a sign. I’ll keep the details to myself for now though 🙂

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbYn8dZOS-4]

Smiling but you’re broken, hurting barely coping

Out there waiting, hoping

For someone, somewhere

To tell you what you’re missing

So you can get to living

You feel way beyond forgiven

You’ve tried everything

You’re not too far away

You can’t fall too far to save

Sounds unbelievable, but you’re not unreachable

Just take the hand of grace

Your sins have been replaced

By something beautiful, you’re not unreachable

Let mercy pull you closer, your fight is finally over

Stop running, where you going

Give into love

No need for resistance, this time it will be different

Love will go the distance

Wherever you are

You’re not too far away

You can’t fall too far to save

Sounds unbelievable, but you’re not unreachable

Just take the hand of grace

Your sins have been replaced

By something beautiful, you’re not unreachable

You’ve been waiting to be rescued from your shame

But He was there, before you called His name

You’re not too far away

You can’t fall too far to save

Sounds unbelievable, but you’re not unreachable

Just take the hand of grace

Your sins have been replaced

By something beautiful, you’re not unreachable

You’re not unreachable, you’re not unreachable